My Places I've Been

1. London, UK
2. Boise, ID, USA
3. Seattle, WA, USA
4. San Francisco, CA, USA
5. Sydney, Australia
6. Stuttgart, Germany
7. Byron Bay, Australia
8. Christchurch, New Zealand

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The paranoid ramblings of someone who is scared of mice.

As the Scottish would say- 'There's a moose loose aboot this hoose'.

I feel like I'm in the movie 'Mousetrap'. I'm being outsmarted by none-other than a common Idaho field mouse. The Smith house mouse has dodged every humane (and out of desperation, one inhumane) trap I can throw at him. I've baited him with peanut butter, chocolate, ginger snaps (what self respecting mouse doesn't love ginger snaps?) and to no avail. In fact, I'm sure he waltzed in to my first attempt, devoured the peanut butter, and sidled on out again!

He's been hanging out in my room. For all I know he could have been using it as his summer home for months- I doubt anyone comes in here when I'm not in town. I found, in a plastic bag, in a shoe box on the middle shelf of my closed closet, a devoured fun size candy bar from dinner show, circa 2005. I'm sure eating 6 year old chocolate made him a bit ill, I can't imagine it tasted great, but even so- its gone. Did he Houdini himself in there, eat the chocolate bar and, curiously, half of an unsent note of teen anguish addressed to Julia Green as a sort of tag to let me know it was him? I can practically hear him shouting 'Stick it to the establishment!' as he scurries down his little hole.

He also defaced a little koala bear's face on the wrapper of a chocolate Sarah had given me as a souvenir from her flight from Oz. By the time the mouse was done with him, he was literally just a pair of ears. This guy is the Banksy of mice. Or something.

So then mum blocked his secret passageway with a piece of what I understand to be thick plastic- which stopped the little monster for a week or so, but starting three nights ago he has been waking me up at all hours of the morning by gnawing and scratching at the plastic. Like I'm just going to let him in? No, thank you. I've tried banging on the wall, turning on the light, moving the bed- nothing deters him. As a result I have a very odd sleeping pattern.

And tonight- technically, this morning- the unthinkable happened. This great Hulk Hogan mouse chewed through the plastic like he was ripping off a cheap white t-shirt in a strip show- with ease. I awoke to a clatter (and scurry) at 3:45 am- scurry scurry under the bed, scurry scurry by the window, scurry down by the door- he was everywhere at once and nowhere at the same time. I had no idea I was this scared of mice until an hour ago- I'm a prisoner on my own bed! What if I put my feet on the floor and he seizes the opportunity to run all over my feet? Or WORSE- up my pant leg!

This may seem irrational to some of you, but trust me, it's not. I'm almost certain mice don't feel the effects of gravity, so they could run up my leg. And obviously they are out to get me, so I can't put my feet on the ground- that's what they want me to do.

But why, mice, why? I pay my taxes, I, like you, enjoy cheese, chocolate (apparently) and eating things that are not and were not ever mine. We are the same, you and I.

And besides, I hear my brother has a half eaten cookie in his room.....

Life transforming 2011 resolutions

As we enter 2011, I invite you to make resolutions that will be truly transformative to your life as a woman, and in turn, the lives of more people than you ever would have thought possible.

1. I will remind myself daily that life does not live me. Recognize that you create your own path and plan each day with this in mind.
2. I will reconnect with my body. Learn about and embrace your body's natural and powerful cycles. As your body moves through hormonal changes throughout the month, it will have something different to say each day. Fighting against it only creates tension that manifests itself in challenging ways.
3. I will embrace my own sexuality. Women are born as powerful, sexual, multi-orgasmic beings. This gift has been buried under centuries of religious and societal messages that have taught us to feel shame for our bodies and sexuality and to oblige our partners while forgetting about ourselves. Rediscover your natural, erotic self.
4. I will set aside at least 30 minutes of pure "me time" every day. Use this time to read a book that speaks to your soul, meditate, sit in a quiet place, peel off the layers and re-discover your authentic self. When the messages of others are quieted in your head, your heart and soul can be heard and they never lie.
5. I will honor my body by eating healthier and exercising regularly. A healthy body is a prerequisite for anything else you do. Treat your body like a temple and trust that when you do it will take its natural, healthy, beautiful shape.
6. I will commit to consistent time with the women of my circle. A few hundred years ago, the gathering of women was outlawed because its power was overwhelming to many. Tap into this power. These women will remind you of your beauty and strength whenever you forget.
7. I will challenge myself to be the one who defines my beauty inside and out. This will require critically filtering media and societal messages that tell you that you must look, act and speak in a prescribed way in order to be deemed an attractive and acceptable woman.
8. I will trust my instincts. Believe in the life-sustaining instincts you have as a woman, the profound wisdom you carry and your ability to see truth. Too often we doubt ourselves. Your instincts will never steer you wrong.
9. I will remember who I am at my core. Keep near you a photograph of yourself before the age of nine. She will inspire you to honor her, hear her, love her and fiercely protect her, always.

 With love, From Laura and tonic.com

Welcome, 2011

So first, apologies for never finishing my NZ posts. Seriously, here you go: NY Resolution #1- finish what I start!! Kind of annoying.

I think New Year's Eve is sad. I've come to that conclusion. I haven't had a year in a long time that I haven't shed some tears on NYE. Even the great ones. I feel like perhaps that it's sad a bit that we're leaving the years behind, coupled with nervousness about the year to come. And this year, added to just wanting to have a good, special evening. And then the boys all came over and it felt a bit less... special. A bit more like we're harbouring drunk underage kids in our basement. But I was thankful that Dad stayed up until midnight for me- he usually sleeps at 10pm, never later. Last year I rang in the NY on my own. So even though its not perfect, thank you to my mum and dad, and I got to learn to make Pisco Sours!!

So bring on 2011- here's hoping it is as wonderful as 2010 was. Though it will be difficult to top!

Maybe I should not celebrate NYE next year.